The orphanage then and now

The orphanage is much the same in 2011 as it was in 1993. See the earlier post Memories -- the rooms for our reactions as we wandered these rooms. Here, I just want to show the pictures of the rooms now compared to 1993.

The eating area

The kitchen

The living room

The bedroom

Where is that orphanage?

Finding Erinna's orphanage was much more difficult than I had expected.

Before the trip, I had Googled the orphanage, found the address for the only orphanage listed in Khmelnitsky, and located it on Google Maps.  From above, it looked pretty much like I remembered. So at 10 in the morning, we headed out. We knew how to get to the highway it was listed on, and I was sure we'd recognize it once we got there.

We drove up and down the highway several times, and couldn't find the street number or see anything that looked familiar. We stopped at a gas station and got hand gestures pointing us back in the same direction. We wandered in the area. But nothing.

Around noon, we headed back to our favorite restaurant so that we could use their wi-fi. By doing so, I was able to use my phone's GPS and offline map to guide us to the street number. But no orphanage.

Now I wasn't sure what to do next. Obviously, I had the wrong address. But we could hardly wander around town showing people a 1993 picture of the building and asking for directions.

So, we headed to the Department of Education.

Department of Education 2011

Department of Education 1993

Our knight in shining armor, posing for us when we
went back later in the day to say thanks.

This was the building where the process started in 1993. Inside the main entry, there was a security person. I showed him my prepared statement, then the picture of the lady we met with 18 years ago. His whole demeanor changed—he smiled and motioned us to follow him upstairs. He stayed with us as we got passed from group to group, until a young woman took us to her office. All this time, we had no language in common other than my prepared statement.

This woman was grumpy. She kept talking to me in Ukrainian, apparently on the theory that if she just kept on talking, I'd surely get it sooner or later. But she made some calls, and eventually put me on the phone with someone who spoke some English. The English-speaking woman eventually showed up in the office too, and we started to make some progress.

Khmelnitsky Specialized Children's Home
"Berischka"

Grumpy or not, this first woman was determined to help—not just to get me the address, but to coordinate a visit and everything! But in the end, she couldn't reach anyone at the orphanage, so she called a taxi for us, and the English speaker took us downstairs and told the taxi driver where we were going and not to lose Joan following in our car. (The taxi driver laughed at me when I tried to put on my seat belt, and just shook his head.)

We were so close earlier! But where our earlier drive never stirred up any memories, this one did. And at last, we turned the corner to see that oh-so-familiar building!

The orphanage in 2011. Trees and apartments have grown up around it.

The orphanage in 1993. Even though it was April, winter was still holding on tight.

So, to ensure that I can always find it again, here is the map:

View Larger Map

Memories—the rooms

After we wandered into Erinna's old rooms at the orphanage, an older lady appeared in the the other doorway. I showed her my prepared statement in Ukrainian explaining why we were there. She smiled and took us down another hall to what I assume was one of the doctors or directors, who read the same statement. She smiled, and they both led us back to Erinna's old rooms.

There were the same little tables and chairs where I sat with Erinna that first day while she ate soup for lunch, with the little kitchen nearby. She drank her soup from a huge tin cup that seemed way too big for her.

There was the wall of stuffed toys. Different toys, now. I had brought a large stuffed animal for Erinna, which quickly became the orphanage's stuffed animal and lived on that wall.

There was the living room where the kids played. When we arrived each day, this is where they would all surround us, begging for attention and play.

There was the door to the "bathroom" at the far end, where the kids all sat on chamber pots during their potty break. If we arrived in the middle of potty break time, the kids didn't get up, but they all started scooting on their pots towards the door! Hilarious!

And in the large bedroom area, there were 16 young boys sound asleep. (I guess that explained the total silence!) No girls now, just the boys. A little more crowded than it was in Erinna's time.

And all this time, Erinna was nearly overwhelmed with excitement and the emotions being stirred up!

Memories—the bench

It took us nearly all day to find it. But finally, there it was. The orphanage where I met Erinna.

We walked in the front door and no one was around. It was eerily silent. Had we finally made it, only to find the place suddenly abandoned? We went down the first hall to the right, just as I had done nearly every day for a month 18 years ago. Up the same stairs, to the door to Erinna's old rooms. Did I dare just walk in?

I knocked, then opened the door.

There, under the window, was the bench.

The bench where I sat with Erinna on my lap the second day we came to visit. She had run straight up to me, with her arms up, saying, "Mama! Mama!"

The bench where we sat every day to get her dressed to go back to the hotel with us for the afternoon. They insisted that she put on layers and layers of clothes before going out into the cold.

Funny how that one bench nearly overwhelmed me with memories!

The Moscow metro

Before we could start our first full day as Moscow tourists, we had to learn how to use the metro.

No, first we had to find the metro. You wouldn't think it'd be that hard (it's just down the street), but it took us 30 minutes and a couple of helpful Russians.

Then we had to learn how to use the metro pass. It turns out you have to actually touch the pass to the turnstile, as was demonstrated very forcibly by the attendant. (Erinna wants to know why the Russians don't like us.)

Once you get through the turnstiles, you descend forever down the escalator to the bowels of the city.

This sign says "Bar Restaurant Cafe".
The metro stops aren't quite as easy.

And finally, you have to decipher the stops and make sure you're going the right direction. We can easily recognize restaurants and bars, but metro stops are a challenge.

Oh, and one more thing. When the trains are crowded, you have to make sure you get on quickly. I learned this the hard way when I actually got caught in the closing door. That's when we decided that an adult should always be the last one in our group to get on each time. Just in case.

Back to the beginning

Eighteen years ago, my first trip to Russia and Ukraine started with a phone call and this faxed picture. A week later, I was on my way to Khmelnitsky, Ukraine, to pick up my new daughter, Erinna.

In a couple of days, Erinna and I are heading back to see where it all started. Our friend Mindy, along with her two Russian-born kids Alex and Abby, and our friend Joan, who accompanied both Mindy and me on our trips, are coming along.

Although there are many similarities between the trips, the differences are significant!

• Then, Erinna was just short of 3 years old. This time, she's all grown up. (Although she'll always be my little smunchkin.)
• Then, I had a week to get all our paperwork in order, make reservations, and pack. This time, we've been planning this trip for a year. (Even so, Alex's and Abby's visas almost didn't come in time.)
• Then, I had an "entourage" accompanying me throughout the trip: a coordinator, a translator (and nearly constant companion), drivers, liaisons, host families. This time, we're on our own. (And loving it !)
• Then, I traveled with a total of 14 bags (for 3 people). This time, if it doesn't fit in our carry-ons, we're not taking it.
• Then, one dollar got you about 700 rubles. This time, one dollar is worth about 30 rubles.
• Then, I didn't know for sure if I was bringing home a daughter. This time, there's no doubt!

So join us on this trip back to the beginning!